Jul 25
“Judgment is what we deserve, mercy is not getting what we deserve, and grace is getting more than we deserve.” ~Robert Mitchell
About a week ago I was talking to my family in CA. I told them that it seems that God wants me to pause and not always be go getter and go doer. It seems as if this summer might be a case. My personality wants to get things done so that I feel productive. However, when I get into such mode it is easy to become prideful and I know pride is not good. The Lord wants me to make Him the priority in my life. I always have, but I know there is room for deeper growth so I constantly long to be closer to Him.
In my previous blog I mentioned that I was going to meet with one of my former classmates Marina. Well, last Saturday I met with her. Before I tell you how our time went allow me to explain you something. When we graduated from the orphanage more than fourteen years ago there were sixteen of us. Marina along with another girl Zhenya were dressed for our graduation ceremony very provocative; thus, it gave everyone the impression that they will be prostitutes. Prostitution among graduate orphans is very common; thus, these girls were not a surprise to anyone that this is what was going to happen to them. Many years have passed and during that time I ran into Marina a few times on streets with different men. Of course, this gave me impression and idea that she was a prostitute. Furthermore, I heard from different people in the orphanage that this is exactly what Marina and Zhenya were doing. I was deeply disturbed and saddened, but there is nothing I could do. Well, recently I have received an invitation on the Russian version of Facebook from Marina wanting to become my friend. I accepted her invitation and was curious what she was up to nowadays. I setup our meeting and we met.
When I saw her she was wearing quite provocative clothes once again and acting like she was a prostitute. Thus, it was hard for me to think anything else. We met in a Tea House. I bought her some food and asked various questions (i.e. what are you doing now, are you married, do you have any children, etc.) She said that she has been working as a cook in a kindergarten for almost nine years and has a daughter who is nine years old. I was pleasantly shocked that she had a child. I asked her if she was ever married and she said yes. More likely it was common law marriage. That was even a bigger shock to me. She was married to Nikita for three years. When Marina found out that she was pregnant she went to Nikita and asked for money for abortion. Abortion in Russia is very common and used as a form of birth control. Thus, Marina was not going to be an exception. However, when she asked Nikita he refused to give her money and said that this is her child. Marina gave birth to Veronica. One day when Veronica was three years old Nikita was drunk and had an argument with Marina so Veronica stood between them trying to prevent a fight. Nikita picked up his daughter threw her against the wall. Marina was furious and yelled at him and said that this is not your daughter, but mine and you can never hit her. Only I (Marina) have a right to yell and hit my daughter. So she took her daughter and they left. It has been six years and since then Nikita has not been playing an active role in the family. He does see his daughter time to time, but with Marina’s supervision. Unfortunately, Nikita drinks a lot and does nothing for living either.
Marina likes what she does even though it is not a high paying job. She has been fortunate to have a good mother-in-law who has been kind and supportive of Marina and her daughter. She is a former doctor, but due to her poor health she stepped down from doctor’s position and now works as a nurse. Not that long ago she told Marina that she can find her a better job as a cook at a private company that will pay a lot more than what she gets paid now. In addition, she will be able to buy a car in a year. I was shocked to hear that so I asked Marina how that could be. She said, “Alex please do not be naïve. Everyone steals so as a chef you steal food and sell on a side and then make money. You set money aside until you have enough to buy a car.” Well, that just blew my mind off. I know that a lot of things happen in Russia, but not like this. Then I asked her what keeps you at your current employment place and she said I never go hungry and always have food at my house. That is more important to her than a car. There you go another piece of Russian culture and business/employment.
Our conversation went on and I just could not resist from asking if she was ever a prostitute. According to her words she said never. My eyes were big and I did not know what to say. Except one thing is to apologize to her that I thought she was such person. She was pleasantly surprised that I apologized. Then she wanted to know what I am doing nowadays. I told her that I have been involved in the orphanage ministry for the past eleven years. Also I have been consulting and facilitating foreign adoptions. Now she was stunned and did not know what to say. She could not believe that this was the same Alex Krutov that she used to know.
I had to ask her one very important question if she believes in God. She said yes, but she rarely goes to a church and hardly ever reads the Bible. I asked her why she does not read the Bible and she said because it is confusing to her. Then I recommended her to read the book of John and read it slowly verse by verse. After each verse she needs to pause for the moment of prayer. Ask the Lord to give her clarity and understanding. I love how Robert Mitchell in his book “Castaway Kid” says, “She (his grandma Gigi) has given him what he needed most-the security that comes from consistent, unconditional love.” I told Marina that God has given us the same unconditional love and security in eternal life.
Finally we thought of our other classmates especially those who are no longer alive. It breaks my heart that some of them did not get a chance to live until 25 years of age. On our way to downtown as we were riding the metro I told Marina that I realize she does not care what other people think of her or the way she dresses. However, God does care and I care also. I told her that she can be just as attractive if she does not dress provocatively. I do not know if this comment and our conversation will sink in her heart, but I ask you to pray for her and her daughter Veronica. Please pray that God will reveal himself to her as her spiritual Father whom she will call her home and find peace in this world.
I want to give quick update on my health. My doctor in the states gave me Nexium which is for acid reflux, but for different reasons I did not want to take that. However, for the past six days I have been taking it and most amazing thing happened. My cough has suppressed by 95%. Thus, it was caused by acid reflux or at least this is what I think. I might need to visit my doctor in the states when I return and see what is going on with my stomach. I have had stomach problems since I was twelve. I thank the Lord that my cough is practically gone. Thank you for your prayers.
Today I went back to IKEA to talk to the store director. When I came another couple was in line yet there were three people serving customers. I had #99, but in front of me there were four other numbers, but no customers. The bell was ringing for customer with number #95, 96, 97, 98 but no one was there. I was laughing because why bother give numbers when no one is in line. Anyway I had a chat with a gentleman. He said that the store director is British and he rarely comes to Russia. IKEA is now headquartered in Netherland and not in Sweden. I explained to him what I was representing and what The Harbor needed. I was wondering if IKEA in St. Pete offered some kind of discount to charitable organizations. His response was that we work with only one charitable organization. No, we do not give any discounts or work with any other charities. However, he did say that we can file an application form and send to the Russian administration for the review. If we get approved then they might consider otherwise there is nothing they can do. I asked him how long would we have to wait, but he could not answer that question either. I told him that we need beds by the end of August so could he guarantee that our request would be approved by then and he said, “I do not know and nor can I guarantee that.” Deep inside of me I was laughing because it is so Russia. We are still going to file this request, but not sure if anything will come out of it. Please pray that God would show favor to us with new potential partnership.
IKEA is located in a gigantic shopping center known as MEGA. This center has tons of absolutely massive stores. In addition, it has humongous food court and a movie theater. The place is packed all the time. One of my favorite parts is a journey to IKEA from the metro. IKEA provides free bus ride from metro Diybenko, which is about fifteen minutes ride. The bus stop is always overcrowded. As soon as people see the bus they get ready as if they are going to run a marathon or something. People push with their elbows, carts and everything else that you can push with to make sure that they get on a bus and most of all get a seat. IKEA buses do not have many seats so you need to fight for it if you wish to sit. It is done on purpose so that customers can carry big bags on the way back to the metro. When everyone boards the bus the driver turns music about IKEA and MEGA store and it is annoying. There are two stops that you can get off at MEGA shopping center. The funny thing is when people are trying to get off while others are trying to get on at the same time so it becomes a mess. All I can do is to shake my head and laugh. I wondered around just checking what is available for sale in Russia and prices. I was amazed that you can buy just about anything in Russia nowadays, but prices are so much higher here than it is in the states. Thus, my constant unanswered question is how anyone can afford to buy such expensive items. I am yet to find an answer. I also noticed that many people go to IKEA just to have a meal at a restaurant which has fairly good Swedish food and reasonable prices. I think this is also very Russian because people in America probably would never think to go to IKEA and have a nice meal there.
Tomorrow July 25th I am heading to the suburb of St. Pete on a retreat or it is more like a working weekend. The purpose of going there is to discuss the future of The Harbor, strategy, vision, etc. Melinda, Luba and I will be there. We will return on Tuesday July 28th sometime during the day.
On July 29th I have a visit scheduled with two of our graduates Anya and Vicka. Both of them have children. I look forward to our visit and catching up. I will fill you in later on.
On July 30th I am hoping to go to a summer camp to visit either kids from the orphanage #18 that come to VTC or Yura from the orphanage #19. That day aunt Marina will be celebrating her birthday so I will join this celebration that evening.
On July 31st Melinda, Chris, Luba and I will be meeting concerning Chris becoming our potential long-term volunteer sometime in 2010. Chris is coming from the states for two days.
I am working on other plans and will keep you posted as things develop.
Thank you for your love, care, kindness and prayers.
Much love and many blessings,
Alex
P.S. Lately I have been reading Robert Mitchell's book "Castaway Child". It is a life story of Robert Mitchell. He was abandoned by his parents when he was three years old, Robert began his journey as one of the last "lifers" in an American orphanage. As Rob's loneliness and rage grew, his hope shrank. Would he ever find a real family or a place to call home?
If you have never read this book then I strongly recommend you to read it especially if you want to know how many orphans around the world feel. I found so many similarities to my life in his story. It is a heartbreaking, heartwarming, and ultimately triumphant, this true story shows how, with faith, every person can leave the past behind and forge healthier, happier relationships.
I think this book might help many families who have adopted children. Reading someone's story helps to see the other side of our problem and maybe give a solution.

